Aegri Somnia

9.25.2004

Over a pack of cigarettes and occasional "depression" episodes, one may not realize the value of his self by merely assessing his self. It is almost always impossibe to "describe one's self" without thinking about what "other people" think.

I always say that we are only half of what we claim to be--or even lesser than that rate. As social beings, it is quite innate for an individual to share his self with others. This, in turn, gives an individual a knowing of his self-- in relation to others. A man, for example, could be an ex-lover to a former significant other, a victim of a harrassment, a culprit, a boyfriend (or a father), a text mate or a virtual lover.The shot list goes on, depending on the man's company. While some may find confidence in supplying "self-description" questions, this is actually "self desciption" vis-a-vis "the others".

With that, I still find the eternal question "Who are YOU?" an almost intriguing, if not frustratingly irritating question. It doesn't have an answer. The following is an excerpt from a phone conversation I have previously had with someone.

voice: WHO ARE YOU?
I am Christine... (That's your name...)
I see, I am an English Instructor...( I think the question is clear, I didn't ask for your occupation...)
Well,,,I am a deranged female, pretty self-contained, and an extremist. (Honey, those are you traits...)
Ako'y isang Pinoy, sa puso't diwa, well except when... (I should've revised the question to what's your nationality then...)

( By now, it should be evident that my voice is getting really frustrated)

Well, I am some higher being's creation and.. (We're not in theology class...)
My future's last name is Salas...? ( uhm, you're not filing a marriage contract...)

(WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME WHO I AM?)
voice: okay, let's just change the question to "Tell me something about yourself".

Argh.