Another One Annoys the Shoe

1.18. 2005

I rarely feel annoyed by another human being other than my younger brother. My skill for annoying people has just been upgraded to a masteral’s degree, that no one can “out-annoy” me better than I can annoy anyone. People who try to annoy me are instantly categorized as just another dust at the tip of my shoe.

Well, except for that last instance when I finally decided to give up on my turf and admit that there is always someone better than you are. Let’s call him HIM.

I have hated him even from the first time I saw him. He is my male version—only worse. He’s loud, annoying and well, annoying. Since day one, he has annoyed me effortlessly and proudly. I hated the way he talked to people, how he drank his beer, how he laughed, how he made people listen to him and his 36-year old stories. I was too annoyed to think how to counter his attack. I was just plainly “dumb-founded”.

But there must have been something more than that. When I could’ve done something to avoid him, I didn’t. Gradually, the hate mutated into apathy, then apathy to being apologetic for hating him that much when I should’ve given more time to know him—and then just judge him afterwards.

And so to compensate for being such a bitch, I corrected my blunder and started getting to know him—and then some. I found out that there is only a 4-day interval between our birthdays and that we share the same birth sign, so to say. Not so bad for a guilty starter, huh? We have many things in common, you’d be surprised for the things you’ll know and will never know. If I didn’t know better I’d probably think he was spying on me. Well, to cut the story short, apathy suddenly turned into “interest”. I realized that I got so interested with him—he became more like a challenge for me, and that it was too late for me to “unravel” him because he was leaving for Hong Kong.

Time ran its usual course, and I guess some ‘unidentified forces’ took turns in making something out of nothing. By the time he went back to the Philippines for his annual Christmas vacation, we were already IT. Unlike novelty couples, our relationship felt like fat-free chocolate—it was too good to be true. It was so sickening to think that we were so damn compatible, sometimes it scares the wits out of our furs. It has always been said that we always hurt the people we love (yeah…yeah…) but for us, we need to hurt each other every so often. The reason may lead you into thinking that we have gone bonkers—we just needed to keep our relationship feasible for humans as possible and not some romantic Hollywood blockbuster movie plot. WE needed something to make it normal or something that can alter this monotous flow of perfectness just so we can feel human again.

But, just like any long-distance relationships, we were also subject to occasional “miss” moments. It’s times like these that we hang on to our mobile phones for strength! It’s times like these that we turn back on our “moments together” just to keep us going momentarily. It’s times like these when you blame geography for placing a sea between the Philippines and Hong Kong. It’s times like these when a day suddenly has 60 hours. It is just so damn hard.

But we are always capable of devising clever ways to battle emotional stress (what a word!). Sometimes, I get into fits of giggles recalling his efficient, and desperate attempts to cheer me up! Every night, he’d call me before going to bed just so I could hear him say “meamie ko”. He calls me up to report even the most miniscule information, like his PC broke down or he just bit his tongue or something.

And so “interest” turned into something deeper which I refuse to call love, but have no other choice but to do so. It has been exactly 29 days back since we got engaged, and everytime I am reminded of it, i feel like I have just been awarded a lifetime supply of fat-free chocolates. I have never gotten tired thinking about it, and I think I’ll never will. For a typical 21-year old, this may be too young an age to choose a knot (which leads to tying it...) and accept the proposal of a man fashioned in the most traditional way imaginable. I guess, it takes one person to change the life of another person.

I rarely feel annoyed by another human being other than my younger brother. People who try to annoy me are instantly categorized as just another dust at the tip of my shoe. Luckily, that dust at the tip of my shoe got stuck and will hang on for the rest of my life.

It takes a heap of dust to justify the purpose of a shoe.

(Until eventually, and strangely enough, the heap of dust would camouflage to look like the shoe.)