Him | a solliloquy

I forgot when was the last time we saw each other. I never longed for his presence, nor have I ever even anticipated for our next meeting. He was always like that.

He’d be gone for a time, or longer, so he can be back. I am used to his lifestyle. But after failing to show up at the most important event in my life (of course, meal time’s always second to this), I grew worried. I didn’t even began to worry. I worried right away.

But of course, just as the non-challant species that I was, I never looked for him. Obviously, that

is. I get enskied by the paranoia of finding none, so I never push it.

And then he showed up—like my favorite phrase goes, “like a killer mushroom after a bloody good rain”. Hey, no pun intended!

And I treated him to dinner in the most peaceful, nostalgic restaurant there is in the heart of the city (if I mention its name, that’s real advertising, so I better not). And then he began talking about his life—past and present, in seclusion and otherwise. He said he’s in detox now. No liquor.

No filthy sticks. No killer substances.

That isn’t the news yet. All these (or should I say, none of these?) in three straight months. Just his bike and his dishwashing stint.

It occurred to me, how much I’ve been missing in his no-show…in his in seclusion. He spoke of typical things in life, those we never really take notice of when we’re not intoxicated.

“Essentially, we know ALL the things that happen around us. But what’s keeping us from acknowledging this reality is our conscious mind, telling us there’s no way we’ll know a certain fact because our SENSES aren’t capable of processing it.”

Of course, I am mincing his words now. In his slurred speech, the words coming out from him, consciously were too much to handle . I found myself producing a smile in response to his musings. It’s the only communication I can handle with him that night.

Till I see him again.